Grass and the need to cut it ...

We need to cut the grass weekly at the moment. Is this normal?

Our neighbours seem to be able to go weeks at a time without a trim, yet I'm out each weekend rain or shine, otherwise we lose the cat in the undergrowth.

Unfortunately, this increased workload is now costing us money!!

The old lawnmower decided last weekend that it couldn't cope with the increased workload. Halfway through, (why always half way through??) it started making a funny smell, left a black burnt bit on the lawn and finally wheezed to a halt, confirming that it is not in fact less bovver with a hover! Still, I got my own back from a great height at the dump!

It's not like we have a lot of grass .. urban garden and all that.


Still, there is an upside to the story.

Whilst at the dump, I couldn't help noticing a man dumping books in the recycling skip .. the really big ones that you need to walk up the steps to get to.

Closer inspection revealed that he had in fact been dumping computer related textbooks, and there on top of the pile was one that I had been meaning to buy for a while. Tantalisingly out of reach as it turned out.

Still, not to be beaten - I approached a likely looking chap in luminous vest and explained my predicament. "Not allowed" came the reply - "health and safety". Fair enough I thought, but before I could stop him he was over the side of the skip and into the recycling.

A quick rummage followed, and he presented the almost unused copy. Gratefully I accepted, but just as he was starting to clamber back to the side, I noticed that several other relevant and equally unused books had now been revealed!

I was just about to chance my arm and a spell on ebay, when he began to disappear from view. Slowly at first but with gathering speed the contents of the skip were settling under his weight and when the language stopped he was left some 3ft short of the top and unable to climb out unaided.

As luck would have it .. his supervisor appeared at that point, and after the mother of all 'safety in the workplace' tirades, he radioed for a step ladder.

I'm not really sure what happened next, as I was far too busy wiping away the tears and trying to exit the dump stage left - my prized volume safely beside me.

Not sure if he still works there .. and I never did get to thank him!

Fathers Day

Happy Fathers Day to all concerned, and even those that aren't concerned!

All set to be spoiled - permission to watch the Grand Prix in place and the wine for later is chilling in the fridge.

Dinner courtesy of Marks & Spencer and coffee is brewing.

Might even cut the grass later!

Happy days

Weathermen

Have I shared this one with you before? My theory about the accuracy of weather forecasts is that we have become so reliant on the strange moving images that appear after the 10 o'clock news that we sometimes forget the look out the window.

More importantly, I suspect that the highly paid forecasters forget to look out the window too.

My theory is therefore simple .. and in all liklihood have 2 important benefits, namely that of saving the BBC money on salaries and improving the accuracy of the forecasts.

Those paid to present us with the weather should be on the minimum wage. The bulk of their salary should then be made up from 'accuracy bonuses' whereby their forecasts are reviewed and judged after the event.

It'll soon weed out the numptys who haven't a clue .. and who knows, might force them to be a bit honest with us.

I can see 'haven't a clue, anything could happen' becoming a legitimate forecast.

At least we'll be prepared!!

Barbarella

A vision of the future perhaps .. Ellen's red nose day wig.

I'm pretty sure mummy wears it when I'm not looking. I hope so anyway!

Off for a lie down.

It feels like a long time ..

.. since I last wrote!

Before you all have a go, I know I promised that I would keep things more up to date and clearly I have failed miserably! I can only apologise.

You have 2 options:

1. Wait patiently for me to resume in the blogosphere or ..

2. Follow on twitter .. www.twitter.com @taffersonline. I have added the feed to the blog page so you can see - clever!

Lets try and bring things up to date ..

January
Promises of detox that never happened
Resolutions to update website regularly that failed
Children with colds
Forest started winning and Liverpool were top of the league (not all bad then!)
Going to work in the dark and coming home in the dark. All very depressing.

February
It snowed & we all had fun! Schools closed - country ground to a halt. Daft.
More promises to detox that went west
Forest & Liverpool kept winning!
Wax came to stay - what fun!
Don't mention the Grand Slam

March
Finally some nice weather - so watched Bucky hard at work in the garden!
Forest & Liverpool stopped winning .. :(
Easter feels like a long way away
Children with colds again
After 61 years of waiting, Ireland finally win the Grand Slam and I spend the afternoon hiding behind the sofa. My nerves couldn't take too many of those.
Formula 1 got interesting again!
Clocks change - summers coming!

So that's it. Here we are in April eating Easter eggs and watching the rain. Oh joy!

See you soon.

Happy New Year !

So there we are. In the midst of global economic chaos, we all stopped to drink too much again!

Hope you all made your resolutions and are ready for 2009.

Good luck!

Now .. where's the nurofen?

MY DOG THE ENGINEER

As you may know, I am a fan of Dilbert. Even I have to confess however that I missed this one, and I am endebted to Trees for saving it for me!

________________________________

We have a new dog, a toy Australian Shepherd named Snickers. Recently I realized she has an aptitude for engineering. I will explain.

On a normal California day, when I have nothing urgent to accomplish, and the weather is nice, I enjoy walking Snickers. I don't even mind picking up her "business." It's all part of the experience. But sometimes I have a deadline looming and I'm in a rush. On those days I can get impatient.

Earlier this week I took a break from a busy workday to walk the dog. She accommodated by starting to squeeze out a steamer, but this time something went wrong. The log got halfway out and refused to complete its journey from sphincter to lawn. Snickers grunted and strained to no avail. This is when her engineering savvy kicked in. She started spinning, slowly at first, then picking up speed, evidently to make use of centrifugal force to dislodge her payload. Smart! When I was six months old, I had never even heard of centrifugal force, but here was my six month-old dog making full use of the principle.

Unfortunately it wasn't working. I looked at my watch and thought about all the work I had to do. The spinning was getting faster and faster. I started to worry that the disgorged projectile would take out a neighbor's window. If the neighbor happened to be home, that's exactly the sort of situation that requires a long explanation, with charts and graphs, and ultimately an exchange of money. I didn't have that kind of time.

So I decided to go all ER on her ass. I fluffed open a poop bag, slowed her spin, grabbed one end of the turtle's head and yanked. I think I heard a sound like a champagne cork, but I might be adding some false memory to this story.

Now I worry because Snickers learns fast. Judging from the expression she makes when she is pooping, it looks like a lot of work, and I just taught her she can stop working when the job is only half done. I don't want to end every walk by spinning her around on her leash until escape velocity is achieved. Maybe it's time to make the kids earn their allowance.

It's all just a matter of balance

    Not sure who is have the most fun - Grandad or the girls.  Either way, it's an accident waiting to happen!

NI_2008_280

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Elvis has left the building

After 7 happy years, I am sad to report that our furry friend Elvis is no longer with us.

We 'rescued' her from Battersea in 2001 and although not quite sure, we think she was 14 years old.

Unfortunately, she lost considerable weight recently and was subsequently diagnosed as having cancer.

She remained happy and comfortable at home but grew weaker with each day. The decision to let her go was taken with much sadness and heavy hearts.

We could not have wished for a more affectionate, loving and frankly daft pet and we will all miss her.

As they say, "Ladies & Gentlemen, Elvis has left the building."